.

Ok, this particular 1978 cassette is 2 years before our official start of the cassette era (1980 is what we, at the time of this writing say), but its stench and that of its artist lasted well into the 1980s.

I want to say that while the modern musical press has said the rumours about this artist having to be hospitalized to have his stomach pumped for too much of a certain substance are not true, we say YES they are.  Rod Stewart is such a horrible example of music that he certainly metaphorically sucked enough that it must at some level be true.

Now, as to this specific crap fest of an album, why is it such a great example of worst ever:

1) There’s nothing worse than a superstar level artist jumping someone else’s train into the genre of the day.  Like Madonna’s crap electronica, U2’s crap electronica (lemon?), Rod Stewart make this move to look cool and to be in the moment.  But unlike Madonna and US, who at least were glomming on to the middle of a trend that hadn’t yet reached full on mass appeal, the blond no talent a– clown jumped on DISCO.  In the hindsight of 30 years, Disco is not as hideous as it appeared at the time, when baseball teams had destroy your disco album nights, and the Who recorded “goodbye sister disco”.  There are some good, and in fact some great disco songs.  Just not on this album.  This is schlock wanna be garbage not worth listening.

2) Do Ya Think I’m Sexy.

3) I shouldn’t have to say more after Do Ya Think I’m Sexy, but some people reading this might not be old enough to remember the 70s.  In the 70s we had like 2 rock stations per city and whatever albums and cassettes we could afford.  If you had a pulse and a radio you couldn’t avoid this putrid song.  There are very popoular bands of today that I don’t like, but with the internet, satellite radio, itunes, iphone, Idon’t have to listen to them.  If you’re too young to remember the days before all this technology, don’t under-estimate how much better things are.  Yes, we all lose a little fun, because back in the day everyone heard the song of the year, every kid at my middle school knew all the words to Def Leppard’s singles, it was more communal.  Communal can be good, except when it’s not, and Do Ya Think I’m Sexy is when it’s not, it’s not great, or good, or mediocre, it’s bad, it’s a living hell that won’t get better until they string Rod Stewart up from the top of the tallest building, burn all of his cassettes, burn the master tapes, and burn his birth certificate and everything associated with his life, so no one will ever remember he existed.  Or at least that’s how it felt in the 1978.

OK – the spotify link to the cassette is below, but I beg you not to listen.  There’s so much suffering in the world why inflict more on yourself.  Don’t do it.  Don’t.